Oscar Gamble Society

Sports Illustrated combines dubious science and worse journalism in a repellent display of moral vanity with this week’s cover story on global warming and its relevance to the world of sport.

First of all, this thinly veiled paean to Gaia doesn’t belong in a periodical that claims to be about sports. I can understand that most sportswriters, like most writers generally, think they have something profound to say about the human condition. The editor’s job is to impress upon them that in fact they don’t, and please finish writing your 900-word feature on whether Derek and ARod are still BFF.

Second, the author extrapolates recent warming far into the future, putting a faith in models that is almost as touching as it is misplaced. To those of us who grew up during the 1970s, current fears of apocalyptic consequences of climate change echo what we felt as children when we were told that global cooling put mankind at risk of facing a new Ice Age.

Third, the author takes as a given that global warming is anthropogenic and falls back on the standard neo-puritanical remedies - less fossil fuel consumption, pursuit of higher gas mileage, and purchasing “carbon offsets.” If the situation is truly as dire as the author suggests, then shouldn’t he advocate addressing the single biggest source of greenhouse gases? But then, haranguing Sports Illustrated readers to go vegan would expose the entire enterprise as an exercise in first-rate jack assery. Regarding gas mileage, the primary way of improving mileage is decreasing the mass of a vehicle. Of course, passengers in Priuses are less likely to survive crashes then passengers in Chevy Suburbans. How many lives are we willing to sacrifice to save a few gallons of gas? No blood for oil I say!

And speaking of Priuses, you could drive one for the rest of your life and not conserve as much fuel as the Red Sox’ team jet burns on a West Coast road trip (even without El Guapo on the roster). If the writer truly had the courage of his convictions he would advocate the elimination of jet travel for sports teams, wouldn’t he? And then there’s the carbon offsets. Hey, I like trees as much as the next guy. Living in New York I don’t get to see many of them, but I do buy one every December. But it takes them quite a while to grow large enough to suck up much CO2, after which they die and release it all back into the atmosphere. So the Johnny Appleseed routine isn’t a long term solution but merely a shell game to enable feelings of moral superiority.

In short, this article is like the Knicks strategy under Isiah Thomas - ill-conceived and poorly executed. I never thought I’d say this but I wish instead of this drivel they’d just write more about how Derek and ARod are getting along.

is the creeping gentrification of NASCAR. Time magazine details the trend this week. I don’t mind wine. And I can certainly understand its popularity at Sonoma, a county associated much more with wine than with the road race NASCAR holds there annually. And I can even understand Jeff Gordon producing his own label of the stuff since he’s, well, a pussy. I guess I just find it a shame that NASCAR’s prosperity has reached the point where growth can really only come from increased corporate dollars, with the inevitable effect that traditional fans are crowded out by more casual but wealthier fans. It’s good that the sport evolved from its origins among outlaws running moonshine, but a big part of the sport’s appeal is the sense of community - drivers remain connected to fans in ways baseball and football players have long ceased to be. Dale Jr. spends hours every week personally autographing items mailed to him by his fans; even Mickey Mantle just paid bat boys to do that (in fairness, Mantle was probably more hung over than lazy). Watching a race while drinking chardonnay rather than PBR is just emblematic of NASCAR becoming more like the other major sports, where the athletes are now members of a quasi-priestly caste who rarely deign to walk among the mortals who ultimately pay their salaries. Stay gold, Pony Boy.

Not sure if any of you caught the end of the Duke / UNC game, but I don’t think there has ever been a time where an annoucer was more offbase. 

For those who didn’t hear the call of the game or the highlights, here is the situation.  Carolina is up by 12 points with 18 SECONDS left to go in the game.  What that should tell you is that the game is OVER.  The chances of Duke coming back are zero.  Hansborough, Carolina’s 7 foot starting center is at the line and on the court with the rest of the starters.  Duke has basically its starting team still in the game as well.  Hansborough misses the free throw, but gets the rebound.  As he goes up for the shot, a Duke player knocks the ball out of his hand.  Moments after another Duke player Henderson gives a hard foul that was similar to a move you would see in the WWF.  I mean he crushes Hansborough’s nose with his elbow.  Hansborough hits the deck, his face is covered in blood, and his nose is broken.  Before being able to retaliate, he is restrained by his teammates and eventually led to the locker room.  Packer instantly before even seeing a replay claims that the foul was unintentional. 

After seeing the replay clearly showing the ball no where in the picture, and Henderson leading with his elbow, Packer is even more convinced.  He goes on and on stopping just short of saying that there shouldn’t have been a foul called on the play.  He criticizes the refs for controlling the situation by kicking Henderson out of the game (which automatically includes a one game suspension) saying they went way too far.

Several thought here: 

1.  Why is Hansborough and the other starters still in the game

2.  If the refs hadn’t kicked out Henderson, there may have been another incident in the last 18 seconds

3.  In the NBA this would have led to a bench clearing brawl… .no question about it.

4.  If the game was between Florida International and University of Miami, Packer would have had a different reaction, basically similar to what everyone said after that brawl in football this year.

5.  Maybe Duke doesn’t run such a “squeaky clean program” and maybe Coach K doesn’t have the control of his team that he used to.